tingel: (Default)
I'm just back from visiting my sister.
She told me it was perfect timing that they bought the house and finished renovating just now. Because she's two months PREGNANT!!!!
*pressing all available thumbs that everything goes just fine* *also wriggling for joy*
tingel: (Default)
I got my vacation times approved today and just spent about two hours looking for a nice place to travel to in September.
I just booked my vacation: 10 days in Greece, Chalicidice. It should be a nice, little, quiet, out of the way hotel.

Am grinning like a loon right now!
tingel: (Default)
I'm really annoyed right now. Can't mentally let go. It's not yet pissed off, but close.
I've been back to work for some weeks now and it's really going well. I enjoy being in the office, meeting people, again having structure in my daily life. It's really good for me. Right now I'm easily bored at home. Guess I had my quantum of endless days of sitting at home, reading, watching shows and listening to music. And I can't say how relieved I am not to be in payroll directly anymore. Right now my phone rings about 2 times a day and I get about 5 emails. Compare that to the phone nearly constantly ringing and about 100 emails a day, 70 at least. It's also really nice to be on shorter hours, though that stops next week, when I'm officially fit for work full-time.
The last few days I helped out in payroll because it was 1) payroll-time, 2) we had an internal audit and 3) they audited new procedures which make payroll even more time-consuming. Actually I stayed a bit longer on Monday and Tuesday but that was okay. I felt okay. I did it to finish my current work properly, went home with the feeling of a job well done and was still home earlier than on full-time (without overtime).
There's a (relatively) new colleague who started mid December. (I feel sorry for him. I had just two weeks to superficially train him on the job and then I went missing.) He's really out of power right now. Desperately needs a vacation which he's due in a month. As support there is a help from a temporary employment agency. She's not really fit for real payroll work, but she does filing, copying, scanning, sorts the mail etc. We get along really well, have a smoke together twice a day. She's the motherly type and really funny sometimes. She, too, is stressed right now.
They asked her to collect the formal approvals for the payroll lists from the managers last months. It didn't go very well. And since this is one of the procedures that are being audited right now, this time it has to go perfectly. I know what it's all about and how it works. So they asked me to help her out. She doesn't have the access to the system that I have. So produced the reports, printed them and sorted them for her so she knew who should get which. I asked her to scan them and email them to the respective managers. And she got pissed because I asked her to scan them. Because she felt everyone dumped the menial jobs on her that we didn't care for. Yes, she is stressed and yes, my office is nearer to the scanner. But I'm there to help her do a job correctly that's her responsibility and will be in the future. And in order to make certain of this I stayed a hour and a half longer than I normally should. And this really annoys me, it just keeps niggling at me.
Actually it is not that a big deal. We had a smoke together afterwards and were friendly. But I just keep thinking about it. Maybe it's because somewhere I feel that she is right and I should be nicer, more considerate. Maybe there's a bit of arrogance because I'm better trained, have more experience in this area and there she goes and wants me to spend time on something that's below me? And I feel a bit hurt that my effort at supporting her wasn't appreciated.  I didn't expect criticism from her. Before she was always very sympathetic.
I think those are points that I just have to acknowledge and deal with. I have the suspicion that was just the kind of situation that my therapist told me to look out for. Because I really need to delimit (is that the right word?) myself against others' expectations if I can't meet them. That means saying no if I can't do a job, if I don't have the time. Because just accepting every job till everything piles up and I can't do any one properly isn't the solution. I learned that the hard way. Another problem I have is that I really depend on others' opinions. I feel bad if I suspect others don't like me. So my marching orders from my therapist are to learn how to be an asshole if required to protect myself. And let me tell you that's harder than it sounds. As long as everything stays within my head it's very difficult for me to decide if I'm just being unfoundedly selfish or if I was right to say up till here but no further.
Okay, trying to get things straight really helped. I don't feel so annoyed anymore, more contemplative now.
tingel: (Default)
I'm so bored it's not funny any more

so cheesy

Apr. 17th, 2009 05:34 pm
tingel: (Monkey Island - En Garde)
Three weeks back at work and I got reprimanded today.

Our CEO's PA told me to remove my cheese from the common fridge.
It was the really tasty and really smelly Danish cheese (Esrom).
So I put it in my bag and smelled up the whole underground on my way back home.

I can't believe it... my cheese was BANNED!

Actually she was really nice about it. Still it was kinda embarrassing. But I've decided to laugh it off. And then I had this nasty idea. Why not place a piece of this cheese in some corner of the kitchen, as in near the coffee maker where it's nice and warm? Had my giggling the whole time I smelled up the underground. Nice fantasy! No, I didn't do it. ^_~
tingel: (Monkey Island - 3headed monkey)
I'm back from my parents'. It was fun, I didn't want to leave but I can't stay two nights with my guinea piggies waiting to be fed.
Had a barbecue yesterday. My first time this year. Great! After two bottles of beer yesterday I'm STILL feeling a little woozy today. Kinda embarrassing really. My excuse: I don't drink normally.
During the night we had a thunderstorm. It blew the power out. Not only in our house but in a wider area. All the street lights were out too. I had to go looking for candles and read a few pages by candlelight before I gave up and went to sleep. How medieval! ^_^;
I woke up again around 2 a.m. to a brightly lid room, power was back.
Today was all about eating. Our neighbour had invited us to breakfast. It was gigantic. And my mom had invited everyone to coffee and cake (cheesecake, philadelphia cake and something covered in chocolate cream) All delicious, but now I'm so stuffed I can't imagine eating anything in the next two days or so!
Our neighbours got a PC and use it mainly for gaming. Desktop games nothing exciting really. But they showed me this one game and I totally got sucked in. Spent the whole afternoon going from one level to the next. Never noticed the time. As revenge I introduced them to Monkey Island. *snigger* They'll never get a good night's sleep again in the next few weeks1
So yeah, it was a fun day. But I think I'll have an early night. Wooziness and all.

Everyone, have a nice Easter holiday too!
tingel: (Default)
My dad got a new PC a few months ago and my mom got his old XP laptop. At the same time our neighbours got their first PC and internet connection. It's so funny. You know, they're all way over 50 years old. And now suddenly they start being interested in PC games. They spend HOURS gaming and they keep hounding me whether I have any games I could lend them ^___^
tingel: (Default)
So I've been back to work for two weeks now. Everything's going fine (apart from a slight panicky feeling last sunday. But that passed). I'm on light duty, 3 hours a day. Starting from next week it's 5 hours. These weeks were so cool. Getting off at 12! Sun's shining! How relaxing. I got new duties too. But it was kind of a nice/naughty feeling to just pass on all old emails and messes to the poor sods who labor in payroll now. ^__^ Everyone was happy to see me again. Yes, all told I'm happy to be back.
So today was the last day of the really short days. It's beautiful outside. Tomorrow is a holiday and I still wanted to get small gifts for my parents for Easter. I was really relaxed and in high spirits (maybe a little tired) when I got home. And there I stand in front of the building and search for my keys...
And no, I couldn't find them... and yes, I called work... and YES DAMN! I left them there!!!! How stupid can one be!!!!!!!! So I could climb back onto the underground and go all the way back from where I'd just come from. It's only 75 minutes one way... Of course, everyone made fun of me.... *bastards* (okay, I would have made fun of everyone this happened to, too. But I never said I wasn't a bastard myself) 75 minutes back home. And now I'm too tired / frustrated to do much of anything else. At least tomorrow is a holiday. I'll visit my parents on saturday / sunday, we'll have a barbecue and breakfast with the neighbours. It'll be fun.
And I guess I'm lucky it happened today when I was home early enough to actually return. On a normal day I'm home at 6:30 and there'd be nobody in the office anymore if I tried to get my keys... yeah, silver lining. yadda yadda


Mar. 29th, 2009 12:04 pm
tingel: (Default)
So after 3 months of sick leave I'm returning to work tomorrow. :wibbles: On shortened hours to begin with. I'm a bit nervous about it but also relieved. I was sooo bored the last few days. Guess, it's time.
In preparation I made myself get up earlier the last few days. Wouldn't do to stumble through the office half-concsious because it's before lunch! (yes, without external structure in my life my bio-rhythm gets totally out of whack)
So I was really proud of myself to wake up at 7 am today, or so I thought. Then the radio informed me that today we (in the EU) switched to daylight-saving time.... GRRRRR! I didn't notice! Tomorrow it'll feel like getting up at 5!!!! It's so stupid!
Luckily I DID notice today. Would've been embarrassing if I were late tomorrow. What an impression to make after 3 months when everyone will be watching me anyway! About 2 years I missed the switch to standard time and was an hour early. Did I feel stupid!
tingel: (fae 2)
I got the audio book Storm Front read by James Marsters. I usually listen to audio books in bed. Wonderful way to fall asleep (like having someone tell you a story as a kid). Only, it doesn't really work this well with this audio book. Not with me having a squee and a wiggle every few minutes ^__^ Well, this is the voice of JAMES MARSTERS! Oh, and the story is fun as well, of course.
tingel: (Default)
My little sis just told me that she suspects / hopes / has a hunch that she might be pregnant. She'll wait till Friday next week before taking the test... Might still be a false alarm. Her period is a bit overdue and she's got this feeling...
Will I be an aunt this year? Time to start that saving plan I promised myself I would set up for the little one? I'm getting excited here!
Edit: It was a false alert. Hmpf

(other than that, I've been home all month on sick leave. Might start working again next week, but I'm not too sure yet. I don't know, really, if I'm actually better or if it only is my sense of duty compelling me to return. Damn!)
tingel: (angry)
I wanted to go to a friend's birthday party tonight. It's her 30th and I was really looking forward to it. I spent half the day making her present... and now I can't go because my stomache is upset (won't go into details). I made some cookies this afternoon that turned out a bit on the dark side. That didn't keep me from eating them. Smooth idea, tingel! Darn! Though if it's just because I ate something I shouldn't have, I'll be fine tomorrow. A real stomache flu... horror
tingel: (Default)
Again I've got the opportunity to appreciate daytime TV, or not. That is, daytime TV is horrible.
Normally I don't watch any TV. Only when I'm on sick-leave and have to lie down during the day do I switch on the box. And it's really aweful. I was reduced to switching to the kiddie channel and listening to Spongebob (listening because I was trying to nap).
I'm down for the count right now. All the stress at work has done it and I was heading straight for a burn-out myself. If the pressure gets too much and I don't know what to do first and get no chance to finish one thing properly because of phone calls and emails and extra projects and I start making more and more mistakes, I start getting depressive. The whole works. No sleep, no proper food, either not eating or stuffing myself, crying, headaches, not tidying up the place, not washing... This monday I was so exhausted from lack of sleep that I collapsed at work and was sent home. I told my general practioner what was going on and she was great. She really took it seriously, asked lots of questions and searched for a solution that might work. Now I'm taking an antidepressant and have an appointment with a psychotherapist she recommended. And the pills are starting to work already. This whole mental torture (thinking what still has to be done at work, thinking that there's not time to get it done, constantly thinking about what's gone wrong) has stopped without me really noticing. The down-side is that I'm really tired. Actually I feel a bit dizzy and can't really concentrate. But hopefully that will get better when my body gets accustomed to the meds. In the meantime, I'm on sick-leave. This week and next week too. Although I'm planning to wait and see how I feel this sunday and then I'll decide whether I go into the office on monday or not. Even if I'm not fretting so much anymore I still know that the longer I'm away the more there will be to done once I return. And I'm also worried about my co-worker. She really had a burn-out and is just back. We'd be in real trouble if she too was sick again. At this point everyone, family and friends, tells me that I'm stupid and should worry about getting better myself. Well, that's me. It will be tricky to find a solution at work. We're seriously understaffed, have been for more than half a year. And right now, I'm paying the price. But I don't want to tell my boss I'm depressive and can't cope with work. Everyone is tolerant towards my co-worker, but without it being said it's in the air that she just wasn't tough enough. I just told them I have dizzy spells and that I didn't really know the cause yet. But after I'm back I have to find a way to reduce my workload and/or cut my working hours. The last three months were 10 hours a day minimum, 11 hours regularly and frequently more. Combined with almost 3 hours commuting a day, that didn't leave any time for myself. Just weekends aren't enough to balance that. Especially when you feel that you're constantly failing at work. (I probably have to concentrate more on what I do get done. But everyone, myself included, seems to take that as a given and only notice the mistakes. :sigh: stupid)
tingel: (Naruto)
I just watched the latest episode of Merlin. Loved it but it gave me the creeps. All those beetles scurrying around creeping over sleeping persons, slipping into their ears.... :shudders:
At the beginning there was this one scene with Morgana sleeping and you could hear a slight scratching sound. It was the beetle in the fllowers. My reaction was, hu? normally you wouldn't hear that. The flowers are too soft. But I remember an occasion when I did hear something like that (hence all the shudders). I was reading in my room and heard this strange rustling noise. It came and went and really annoyed me. At first I couldn't place it but then... I saw this huge spider sitting right on the edge of the trash can. Every time it moved it made the rubbish bag crackle! :horror: I went crying for my mom (mature 18 year old that I was) and she had to carry the trash can out. The spider jumped off and headed straight for my sister's room! She saw it coming and freaked... My sister barricaded her door and wouldn't open it till my mom assured her she'd caught the spider again (she lied :grins:). Now that spider was ugly. Huge, and black, and hairy.... :shudders again:

More spider stories... I was lying in bed and reading (I do that a lot). For the past few nights there'd always been a cricket creaping around the crack between the bed and the wall. I'd gotten used to it. I even had a glass and a piece of paper lying in reach to collect it and take it outside. So when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye I grabbed the glass, knelt down... and found myself eye to eye... :sigh: with a spider. Again, huge, black, hairy... It was the middle of the night. So I couldn't run to my parents. Instead I got the vacuum cleaner and tried to suck it away. Epic battle ensued. The thing REFUSED to let go of the wall. Finally I prevailed and deposited the vacuum cleaner in the garden. No way I would keep it in the house or change the bag! The next morning after I explained to my mom why the vacuum cleaner was outside she just rolled her eyes and didn't say anything.

Then there was the spider sitting right next to the door outside my room. I called my mom and after a few minutes she came back and said it was gone. I asked her if she'd caught it. She said it escaped in direction of my sister's room. Okay, you see, there's the door, then about 15 cm of wall, then a cupboard and several meters down the corridor my sister's room. Instantly suspicious because I KNOW my mom, I asked her if she meant that the spider had just moved that 15 cm and hid behind the cupboard. She mumbled, well yes, and I went to my room and stuck a bed sheet in the crack under my door. (thanks, mom)

Also really nice was the spider I saw when I looked up from my homework and it sat there just on the window to my room. From the outside this time or I probably would've had a heart attack at the age of 17. This time my grandfather had to come to the resuce.

But the best one, the top of the list that will (hopefully) never be passed was the one at school. At school there was this old gym with a swimming pool in the basement. It had been out of use for years, so eventually they remodelled it into an assembly hall. The day of the first assembly came and the boys in my year found... you have three guesses and the first two don't count... a huge spider. This time it was a brown one. But still, huge, ugly, hairy. Boys being boys the starting throwing it around. I think you see it coming. I certainly did. I had a really bad feeling and then BAMM it happened. The thing landed right in my face. Even now, remembering, I can feel it legs on my cheeks.... :yurgh: It dropped the floor (after what felt like minutes) and everybody yelled to me to just step on it. But honestly, I was literally paralyzed. I couldn't move even to rub my face, much less to step on the beast. That was really really disgusting. And I mean it! I've never been fond of spiders before, but after that experience I absolutely can't stand spiders!!!

Looking back now I can smile about it all. My parents' place was rather rural. Apparently there are advantages to living in the city apart from all sorts of specialty shops and restaurants. Too much nature = not good

So, yea, it was a really creepy Merlin episode.
tingel: (Default)
It's Sunday. And I just spent 7 hours going over / proof reading work instructions and process directives. And that after a whole week of 12-hours work days. My contract says something about 8 hours a day. Do I get overtime compensation? No, sir!
Okay, this week was extreme and (hopefully) an exception. My new co-worker who is first responsible for payroll (I only assist her) got sick while I was on holiday. And she's probably gone for at least a month. This left me with a huge mess. There was the payroll which is at least a two-man job and all her projects which are due now but are behind by at least two weeks. Fun! And I'm not even starting about all the emails and stuff that gathered in my inbox while I was on holiday. My co-workers and my boss were very well meaning and didn't recall me from holiday. I wish they had. I could have sorted some of this out before. :sigh:
My holiday was great. I was totally lazy. Ischia, island in the golf of Naples, is beautiful. And the weather was great, 30-35 C, sun everyday. In the meantime it was cold and rainy here in Germany :snicker: I had lots of time to read and when back home to watch stuff I wanted to. Very relaxing. I was a bit worried before that it would be strange to travel alone. Most people show up in pairs. But it was fine. I think I'll do it again next year. Maybe to Turkey.


Aug. 24th, 2008 03:52 pm
tingel: (Gaia)
Pineapple Jigsaw Puzzle


Aug. 12th, 2008 09:46 pm
tingel: (Rock Lee)

Ye~ees, pancakes, yummy pancakes, with plums!

This is a completely pointless post, hahaha

BTW, found a program to convert any text files into different ebook formats. Converted all my saved fanfiction and saved it on my reader. 189 books and only half of the disk space used. :contented sigh:


Jul. 30th, 2008 08:52 pm
tingel: (Default)
We moved from one office to another today. Now there're about 30 crates full of files waiting to be unpacked tomorrow. Oh joy


Jul. 26th, 2008 12:34 pm
tingel: (fae 2)
I just booked my journey! I'm going to Ischia, near Naples for a week in September! I'm sooo excited!
Yesterday my boss asked me if I didin't want to take a few days off after all the stress and over-time in the last few months. :grins: I asked for 3 weeks in September and he said ok! And he told me that they were all very proud of me since I managed the payroll without major problems and introduced the new co-worker to her job. And that I'd get my bonus 100%! That's a whole salary extra!!!! I feel always a bit insecure about myself and tear myself up over any mistake (probably blowing them out of proportions). It felt just wonderful to get this reassurance! Now I'm just giddy :laughs:
My new co-worker is really nice. She's a payroll expert, very professional, but nice. Lots of humor, ready to explain and help. I really like her. Before I was a bit worried. We're in the same office. What if we didn't get along? All my worries were unneccessary.
My former co-worker had her baby. A really cute boy. I've seen the first pictures. I immediately recognized him. She'd shown my ultra-sound pics before. They were really good quality, almost like photos. So I already knew what he'd look like. Now he has clothes. :laughs: My co-worker is really happy. The kid is very easy to handle. He sleeps 3-6 hours in one go and is growing as expected. All is well!
tingel: (Murata Ken)
So, I had a very productive day today. Three loads of laundry, washed the dishes, took out the garbage and cleaned the cages.
I decided that my piggies needed a little pedicure. And Strubbel (means 'Scrubby' basically) needed a severe haircut. He didn't like it. He BIT me! Let me tell you guinea pigs have a mean bite if they want to. And apparently getting a haircut is considered torture by piggies. 0_0; Now I'm sporting a swollen dark blue mark on my arm. Okay, it's just the size of a penny. But did I mention swollen and dark blue? At least he didn't draw blood. Mean little bugger

BTW that's the dangerous beast:

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